Why Rejection is Sometimes the Best Thing That Can Happen
Imagine this: You meet a girl on a night out, decide to drop the gimmicks, ditch the lines, and just be yourself—and she still rejects you. Ouch, right? Not so fast.
Here is why this is actually a good thing:
Being authentically you, if she is not into you, then that's not failure; it's clarity. That means you're not wasting your time with a person who has no interest in the truth about who you are. Just think about it for a second: would you like to waste weeks, or months pretending to be a person you're not just for the relationship to come crashing down?
Often, when a man gets rejected, his first instinct is to wonder, "What did I do wrong? Maybe if I would have teased her more, or maybe had some trick line…" Reality: If you're getting someone to give you a second glance or attention for using tactics or a gimmick, what you're building isn't real. Authenticity isn't buzzword jargon; it's a long-term tactic for genuine relationships.
Women are super intuitive. We can tell whether somebody is playing a game versus being authentic. Sure, you might be able to make her laugh with a joke or keep her around in the conversation a little while longer, but sooner or later, the mask falls. And when it does, she will find that the person she was interested in wasn't the real you.
But that's the tougher question: Why does rejection hurt so badly? Is it really about the girl, or is that something far greater?
Ask yourself:
Do you measure your worth on the basis of whether or not a woman sleeps with you?
Are you looking for your friends who are waiting for you to "seal the deal"?
Does your self-worth come from external conquests, such as having someone in bed by the end of the night?
This is a neediness-based mindset, and neediness is one of the biggest turn-offs for women. Women are attracted to confidence real confidence. And real confidence isn't ruffled by rejection. It knows that the right connection will happen naturally, without tricks or desperation.
The next time they reject you, flip this script. Be happy that they got to see you for who you are. You're kind of going through a filtering process to clean up for someone who would highly value you for being you. Remember that the win and loss aren't what this is all about when dating; it is about finding the right people. Rejection is not failure. It's progress.
Jamie Date
Dating Coach for men
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