Online Dating Advice: Should Guys Use Emojis When Texting?
Being an online dating expert, one simple rule to emojis for me is, use them wisely. In the right sense, emojis could be the best tool one could ever have to make attraction; in the wrong sense, they can quickly kill it. Let's break this down.
We all know that "It's not what you say, but how you say it." This is because body language and your tone of voice express more about your intent than words alone. But in text messaging, body language and tone are absent-that's why jokes get misconstrued, teases go unnoticed, and the playfulness of a conversation evaporates.
This is where emojis come in. Emojis provide a way to help qualify the tone of your message.
Such as:
• If you are being sarcastic, add a 😏 or 😉 after to ensure the recipient knows what you are really saying.
• If you are playfully teasing her, a a 😜 or 😂 can ensure that your joke hits the intended mark.
Don't do it: overuse emojis for no reason. If you are listing hobbies such as "bike riding, hiking, and snowboarding" and you're putting a 🚴♂️, 🥾, and 🏂 under each one, that does not contribute to the conversation at all. It comes across as being over-the-top, even a little "girly," which is going to work against you.
So remember: emojis are a tool, not a crutch. Use them sparingly and with purpose.
For more advice like this, find me on Instagram and schedule a call through the link in my bio. Hope you found this helpful and good texting!
Jamie Date
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Be a Chooser not a Chaser
If you want to be a chooser, not a chaser in the early stages of talking to a new girl, follow these three rules: If she cancels on a date last minute, ignore the behavior and carry on. You can keep chatting like nothing happened, but do not try to reschedule! If she is interested in going on a date, she will let you know. Meanwhile, show off the lifestyle in which you live via your social media, and do it right so it captures her attention.
Rewrite your comments and compliments to "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example: instead of saying, "You seem really passionate about your job," say, "I love when a woman is passionate about her work." This small shift makes you appear confident and discerning, showing that you appreciate qualities in others without immediately placing her on a pedestal. Women are naturally drawn to men who have standards and appear to have options.
Avoid oneitis! Don't fall into the trap of putting all your energy into one girl too soon-this is called oneitis. In the early stages, it's perfectly okay-and even smart-to keep other options open. Banking on one girl too early could result in overlooking red flags or placing unnecessary pressure on the relationship instead of letting things unfold naturally.
Jamie Date
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Positive thinking setback
Sure, positive thinking has its place. Practicing gratitude for the things you have and the elements of life you can control is powerful. But here's the hard truth: forcing yourself to ignore anxiety, fear, or other negative emotions is neither helpful nor realistic.
Let's look at it from a scientific point of view. If anxiety and depression were useless, devoid of any purpose, they would have been eradicated by evolution long ago. So why do these emotions remain? Why do they sometimes appear to be the driving forces behind our mental lives?
Because those uncomfortable emotions, like anxiety, frustration, even sadness, are tools. They're signals urging you to take action, to change your situation, to adapt. They're not the enemy; they're the push you need to transform your life.
Negative Emotions Are Catalysts
Think about it. When was the last time you were so comfortable that you were actually motivated to change? Comfort breeds complacency. A person who is "comfortable" is not likely to grow or evolve; they don't need to. Why would they?
The thing about discomfort, whether that's frustration, fear, or sadness, is they're all a catalyst toward change. That's really telling you that something's just not right and it's time to act.
Do Not Numb It, Use It
When you feel anxious or depressed, the knee-jerk reaction might be to bury it, numb it, or "think positively" to make it go away. But you are robbed of the chances to harness those feelings as a source of growth.
Negative emotions are your fuel. They're a resource, more often powerful and transformative than the "good vibes only" mindset. If you let them, these emotions can drive you forward faster and more effectively than you ever could by mouthing empty platitudes.
Closing Thoughts
The next time you are feeling anxious, frustrated, or overwhelmed, don't turn away from it. Instead, lean into it. Listen to what those emotions are saying to you. It's the mind's way of telling you, "It's time to make a move."
You see, the thing is: growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens through discomfort as a catalyst that moves you forward into the life you want to create.
So, instead of forcing yourself to "be happy," try this: embrace the negative. Use it as fuel. And then watch as it pushes you further than positive thinking ever could.
Jamie Date
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Social Anxiety Disorder: Misunderstood or Misused?
Here’s my hot take: social anxiety disorder doesn’t actually exist—at least not in the way people think it does.
Before you reach for the pitchforks, let me clarify. I’m not denying the very real discomfort and fear people feel in social situations—it’s valid. What I’m questioning is the widespread self-diagnosis of social anxiety as if it’s an unchangeable, innate condition.
It’s become as common as the ADHD self-diagnosis epidemic. But in most cases, the underlying cause of social anxiety isn’t some arbitrary, late-onset condition—it’s simply a lack of practice.
The “Use It or Lose It” Principle
Social skills are like muscles. If you don’t use them, they weaken. In today’s world, where screens often replace human interaction, is it surprising that social anxiety is skyrocketing?
It’s not:
“I have social anxiety, so I avoid talking to people.”
It’s:
“I have social anxiety because I avoid talking to people.”
That distinction is critical. Avoidance leads to atrophy. The less you participate in social interactions, the more intimidating they seem, creating a self-perpetuating cycle of fear and isolation.
The Fix? Practice.
Here’s the upside: social anxiety is treatable. You don’t need a magic pill or a clinical label. What you need is progressive desensitization—a process of gradually building confidence through exposure.
• Step 1: Compliment strangers you pass by on the street. A simple, “Nice shirt!” can go a long way.
• Step 2: Attend casual social events where the pressure to interact is minimal.
• Step 3: Continue challenging yourself with progressively larger social interactions until they no longer feel scary.
By exposing yourself to social situations in small, manageable doses, you can retrain your brain to see these interactions as opportunities instead of threats.
Why It Matters
Labeling yourself with a disorder can provide temporary comfort—it explains your struggle. But that same label can also trap you. If you fully accept “I have social anxiety” as your identity, it becomes an excuse to avoid growth.
Instead, reframe it. Treat social anxiety as a skill gap, not a permanent flaw. The more you practice, the better you’ll become. Yes, it’ll be awkward. Yes, it’ll be scary. But over time, what once terrified you will feel as natural as breathing.
Final Thoughts
Social anxiety is real, but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence. The world doesn’t need more diagnoses—it needs more people willing to step out of their comfort zones. Your confidence and happiness are waiting on the other side of discomfort. The only way out is through. So, stop waiting for a cure. Take action. Start small. Talk to people. Show up. Do the thing.
What’s your take? Do you agree, disagree, or are you ready to cancel me?
Jamie Date
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Overcoming Black-and-White Thinking in Dating
Perhaps you find yourself in an “all-or-nothing” trap when it comes to dating. Perhaps you feel, “If I am not the nicest guy in the world, I am going to turn out like my controlling father,” or, “Women hate men, so why try anyway?”
This kind of rigid, black-and-white thinking isn’t just unhelpful—it’s holding you back. It simplifies complex situations into extremes, leaving no room for nuance or growth. Let’s take a closer look at why this happens and how to move past it.
The Trap of Black-and-White Thinking
Black-and-white thinking often stems from past experiences, insecurities, or even societal conditioning. For example:
• “I don’t want to be like my overbearing father, so I’ll be the complete opposite and never assert myself.”
• “All American women only care about money, so I’ll move abroad to find a partner who has fewer options.”
• “Women think men are creepy, so it’s safer to avoid approaching them altogether.”
While these thoughts may feel protective or logical in the moment, they are limiting beliefs that box you into extremes. The result? Frustration, missed opportunities, and a cycle of blame—on yourself or others.
Why the Internet Makes It Worse
Social media and other echo chambers often reinforce these rigid mindsets. Algorithms push polarizing content, convincing you that if one thing doesn’t work, the exact opposite must be true. But life, relationships, and personal growth all happen in the gray areas, not the extremes.
The Power of “And”
Here’s a mindset shift that can change everything: instead of thinking in absolutes, embrace the word “and.”
• Just because your father was controlling doesn’t mean you have to be. And it doesn’t mean you have to be a passive pushover.
• Women might be wary of certain behaviors in men. And you can still approach them confidently and respectfully without being seen as “creepy.”
• American women value partnership and connection, not just money. And to attract a high-value partner, you must work on becoming the best version of yourself.
This small but powerful word opens up space for balance, understanding, and personal responsibility.
Taking Back Control
Liberating yourself from black-and-white thinking allows you to take back control over your dating life. Instead of placing blame on external circumstances or acting out in extremes, focus on growth:
• Recognize the patterns. Are you fearing rejection because you are afraid to be vulnerable?
• Challenge your beliefs. Are your perceptions of women driven by personal experiences or stereotypes?
• Take small steps. Practice healthy assertiveness, engage in meaningful conversations, and work on becoming emotionally available.
Final Thoughts
Dating isn’t about fitting into rigid roles or avoiding past mistakes at all costs. It’s about learning, adapting, and becoming your authentic self. The next time you catch yourself thinking, “If it’s not this, it must be that,” pause and try adding “and” to the equation.
Growth happens in the gray areas. Embrace them, and you’ll open yourself up to deeper connections and more fulfilling relationships.
Jamie Date
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Man or Manchild? : Understanding the Difference
The dating world highlights a significant contrast between the man and the manchild. Understanding what separates the two is essential—not just to attract healthy partners but, even more importantly, to help men step into their full potential.
Here are the key behaviors that distinguish a man from a manchild:
Effort & Commitment
A manchild gets the girl but eventually becomes lazy. Dates stop, compliments fade, and he expects her to stick around while he puts in no effort. A man understands that a healthy relationship requires consistent work. He continues to invest the same energy in maintaining the connection as he did when building it.
Emotional Intelligence
A manchild cannot regulate his emotions and dumps them on his partner. He lashes out, withdraws, or uses her as his emotional punching bag. A man is emotionally equipped to handle various situations. He listens, communicates, and considers others’ feelings to create a safe emotional environment.
Independence & Accountability
A manchild claims he wants a relationship but really seeks a parent, therapist, personal assistant, or sidekick. He deflects blame, avoids responsibility, and expects his partner to manage his life. A man takes ownership of his actions, apologizes sincerely when wrong, and works to improve every day without being prompted.
Leadership & Respect
A manchild is reactive, defensive, and aggressive when confronted. He equates leadership with domination and bullies others to feel in control. A man leads with confidence, not aggression. He understands that dominance is about being calm, reliable, and trustworthy—not controlling. He listens and leads with balance.
Sexual Self-Esteem
A manchild seeks validation through sex. While passionate during the honeymoon phase, he fades when the excitement does because he lacks emotional intimacy. A man owns his sexuality without using it as a means of validation. He connects beyond physical attraction and can sustain a relationship well past the initial spark.
Past Trauma & Healing
A manchild projects unresolved family issues or trauma onto his partner. He clings to anger and pain, creating a toxic environment in the relationship. A man recognizes that healing is his responsibility. He confronts his past, grows from it, and ensures it doesn’t affect his present or future relationships.
Final Thoughts
Being a man isn’t about having everything figured out—it’s about striving for growth, taking accountability, and treating others with respect. A manchild shirks responsibility, blames others, and leans on his partner to carry the weight. A real man builds, nurtures, and protects the relationships he values.
The question is: Who are you striving to become?
Jamie Date
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Why Rejection is Sometimes the Best Thing That Can Happen
Imagine this: You meet a girl on a night out, decide to drop the gimmicks, ditch the lines, and just be yourself—and she still rejects you. Ouch, right? Not so fast.
Here is why this is actually a good thing:
Being authentically you, if she is not into you, then that's not failure; it's clarity. That means you're not wasting your time with a person who has no interest in the truth about who you are. Just think about it for a second: would you like to waste weeks, or months pretending to be a person you're not just for the relationship to come crashing down?
Often, when a man gets rejected, his first instinct is to wonder, "What did I do wrong? Maybe if I would have teased her more, or maybe had some trick line…" Reality: If you're getting someone to give you a second glance or attention for using tactics or a gimmick, what you're building isn't real. Authenticity isn't buzzword jargon; it's a long-term tactic for genuine relationships.
Women are super intuitive. We can tell whether somebody is playing a game versus being authentic. Sure, you might be able to make her laugh with a joke or keep her around in the conversation a little while longer, but sooner or later, the mask falls. And when it does, she will find that the person she was interested in wasn't the real you.
But that's the tougher question: Why does rejection hurt so badly? Is it really about the girl, or is that something far greater?
Ask yourself:
Do you measure your worth on the basis of whether or not a woman sleeps with you?
Are you looking for your friends who are waiting for you to "seal the deal"?
Does your self-worth come from external conquests, such as having someone in bed by the end of the night?
This is a neediness-based mindset, and neediness is one of the biggest turn-offs for women. Women are attracted to confidence real confidence. And real confidence isn't ruffled by rejection. It knows that the right connection will happen naturally, without tricks or desperation.
The next time they reject you, flip this script. Be happy that they got to see you for who you are. You're kind of going through a filtering process to clean up for someone who would highly value you for being you. Remember that the win and loss aren't what this is all about when dating; it is about finding the right people. Rejection is not failure. It's progress.
Jamie Date
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Don’t Know If You Should End Things with a Girl? Ask Yourself This One Question: Is the Juice Worth the Squeeze?
If you’re unsure whether it’s time to end things with your girl, here’s a simple question to ask yourself: Is the juice worth the squeeze?
Now, I'm talking about juice right now, not the juice at the time you began dating, or that one elusive juice one would always hope for in the future. Now, speaking to right now—as things are today—is this relationship delivering to you the satisfaction and fulfillment that you desire?
Things You Should Seriously Consider:
Have you both worked on improving things together? A relationship is a two-way street. Have you both been making an effort to make the connection work? If not, then it's time to break up.
Is it out of fear you'll never find something better? Sometimes, it is fear of being alone or the fear that you will not find anyone else which keeps us in a relationship that no longer serves us. If so, you are probably sticking around for all the wrong reasons.
You ever squeeze better?Relationships go stale because not so much of a good try is being put into this relationship. Are you actually talking more, doing something different, or going round things bugging you about? It is little movements that might just bring gigantic changes. Truth be known, there's much more "juice" elsewhere. If she is not filling up on the juiciest well, it's time for her to move on with life. Clinging onto a failing relationship benefits neither. At best, you sure aren't growing and/or moving ahead in any life sense.
So, next time you’re wondering whether to keep pushing or to let go, remember: is the juice worth the squeeze? If not, don’t be afraid to walk away and look for something that truly fulfills you. There’s no shame in knowing when it’s time to move on.
Jamie Date
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The #1 Mistake Newly Single Guys Make
The transition when you are newly single can be tough, especially when this transition is about moving on from your ex. Many guys I work with still find themselves attached to their ex girlfriends, and that attachment is always the biggest roadblock from finding new love. Or it could be anger. Or bitterness. Or sometimes even guilt. These make you stuck in the past. But sometimes, when attachment looks a little more different, it manifests like comparison.
You would repeat this enough times: "The girl I went out with is good, but my ex was better." This kind of thinking sidelines you from the main reason you and this girl broke up in the first place.
Let's be realistic-the connection to your ex and the connection to someone you just met is like apples and oranges. It is not even fair to compare them at all.
Here’s the trick:
Start focusing on what you want in a partner, not what your ex had. You have to break that habit of associating certain traits with your ex and start seeing them as qualities you want in a new partner.
Now that you know who that is, write down those qualities and manifest them! Stop comparing and start creating new opportunities for love. This mental shift will unlock the potential for new connections and let go of the past. It is forward movement as well as opening oneself up to what's next.
Jamie Date
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Overcome Negative Self-Talk with Two Simple Phrases
When the negative self-talk and intruding thoughts begin to overpower, it becomes really tough to take control back. However, there are two very potent phrases that will help you flip your mindset and keep yourself grounded: "I am" and "I don't do.".
"I am”
This anchors you into the present, letting go of your past doubts or conflicting memories. As you say, "I am [fill in the positive adjective], your subconscious begins to ally itself with that affirmation, over time filling in as to why that statement has come to be true for you. Whether it is "I am confident," "I am worthy" or whatever else it might be, saying these words brings ownership of who you are at present and not who you have been.
"I don't do"
This is a statement of your boundaries. It's a sort of tone setting of what you will and won't accept in your life. Example: "I don't do pedestal for women." "I don't do toxic relationships." "I don't do excuses that prevent me from meeting the right people." Saying this is like giving yourself and others an impression of what you stand for.
It is a very simple, effective way of controlling your behavior and setting standards in accordance with your values. The next time some negativity pops up in your brain, try these phrases. "I am" and "I do not" are just two words-but they can shape your attitude and keep bad thoughts away from your space.
Jamie Date
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Post-Nut Clarity
Sound familiar? You're crushing on a girl, and to your surprise, she's flirting back. But just as things start to get good, that initial spark vanishes. What gives?
This behavior often points to a deeper self-esteem issue. If you're not living in alignment with your potential, or you see yourself as "not good enough," then any woman showing interest in you can feel like a reflection of your own insecurities.
The Low Frequency Loop
When you're in a low frequency—in other words, you feel bad about yourself or something's missing—you attract women at the same frequency. You have to shift your energy to break the cycle. Raise your frequency, and you'll naturally attract better, more aligned partners.
Post-Nut Clarity: The Truth
Here's the thing: post-nut clarity isn't really about her; it's about you and your relationship with pleasure.
When you pursue a woman only to lose interest once you've caught her, it isn't because you've "seen her true self." What you perceived as attraction was really just the rush of the hunt, powered by a tiny molecule called dopamine.
Dopamine and the Hunt
Dopamine isn't released when you get the reward—it's released in anticipation of it. It's the excitement of pursuit that lights up your brain. Once you "catch" her, that rush fades, and so does your perceived interest.
If this sounds like your dating life, a cycle of chasing, catching, and losing interest, you're not chasing real connection. You're chasing dopamine.
How to Rewire Your Approach to Attraction
Here's how to break free from the chase trap:
Stop running to bed - Sleeping with more women does not make you a man, so slow down and deepen emotional intimacy before sexual intercourse.
Stop being obsessed with the question "Does she like me?" - Start asking, "Do I actually like her - beyond her looks?" More than a surface attraction won't be able to cultivate a deeper connection.
Avoid the One Trick Pony Trap - If you’re attracting the same type of woman repeatedly and losing interest after, it’s because you’re relying on short-term tactics that don’t serve long-term compatibility. Change your approach to attract women who align with your values.
The Bottom Line
Dopamine is transitory. Real attraction is built on mutual respect, shared values, and genuine connection—not just the thrill of the chase. If you want to break the cycle, work on yourself first. Elevate your self-worth, slow down, and focus on connection over conquest.
Jamie Date
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How to Set Boundaries with a Jealous Partner
Jealousy can strain even the strongest relationships, but healthy boundaries can turn it into an opportunity for growth. I’m Natalie Stavola, and I’m Jamie Date—two dating coaches dedicated to helping men achieve fulfilling relationships with women and themselves.
Here’s how to navigate this sensitive territory:
Acknowledge Their Feelings
Don't brush it off or trivialize their feelings. Rather, take time to find out what is the basis of their jealousy. Is it because of past experiences, insecurity, or a case of miscommunication? First seek to understand, then seek to be understood.
Solutions over Blame
Past is past. Let go of the defensiveness and the ego. Rather than trying to relive the same arguments, try to work on some practical solutions that would establish trust and security in the future.
Define Your Own Boundaries First
Before discussing their issues, you have to know your own limits first. You cannot set a healthy boundary for the relationship if you do not know how much you can tolerate or where you draw the line.
Encourage Mutual Healing
Relationships are mirrors of the work we still have to do as individuals. Focus on growing yourself and encouraging your partner to do the same. A relationship benefits as a whole when both people are working towards self-improvement.
Frame Difficult Conversations
Arguments aren't necessary in disagreements. Instead, they can be opportunities to learn more about each other's boundaries and build your connection.
Healthy boundaries aren't about control; they're about respect, communication, and mutual understanding. Patience and effort can change jealousy from an obstacle into a catalyst for deeper intimacy.
Jamie Date
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Are All Women Not Worth the Hassle—Or Are You Pursuing the Wrong Ones?
Here's the hard truth: the way a woman treats a man she's genuinely attracted to versus one she isn't is worlds apart. Same woman, completely different treatment.
To be honest, many guys experience a lot of challenges these days in dating. A large number of their expectations and behaviors are driven by the increasingly problematic phenomenon of porn addiction-a rising trend that is revolutionizing how men go about getting and relating to romance in not-so-great ways.
The Dopamine Trap
Instead of getting their dopamine hits from real-life interactions, many men get their fix from instant gratification online. The temporary pleasure requires zero effort, but it rewires the brain to associate connection with something superficial and unattainable.
The Unrealistic Standards
Porn creates a false narrative: beautiful women with subpar men, making it seem like physical attraction and chemistry are irrelevant. This warped expectation leads to disappointment in the real world. If a woman isn't genuinely attracted to you, and you end up together, chances are her interest will shift elsewhere—often to what's in your wallet rather than what's in your heart.
What Women Really Want
A woman attracted to you will treat you like the king you are. It's in our nature to nurture and support a man who fulfills us emotionally and physically. But if your only standard for women is based on what you see in porn, you'll always fall short because that fantasy isn't real.
The Bottom Line
Real attraction is in the form of connection, effort, and authenticity. When you find yourself constantly chasing women who don't care about you, then it is high time you reassess your strategy and your expectations. Because when a woman really likes you, she'll show you in ways no fantasy ever could.
Jamie Date
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Narcissism: What It Really Looks Like in Dating
Narcissism is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, but what does it actually look like in a relationship? Let’s break it down.
I’m Jamie Date, a dating coach for men, and this is Natalie Stavola, a life and dating coach. Together, we’re diving into the reality of dating a true narcissist.
Narcissism is NOT:
• Someone who simply disagrees with you.
• Someone who’s occasionally selfish or self-centered.
True narcissism falls on a spectrum, rooted largely in childhood trauma, leading that person to view the world with one's own narrow vision point, without considering others' thoughts or feelings. Here's how to know when dating a narcissist:
1. No Empathy
A narcissist makes light of and disrespects others. They seek to belittle people for making themselves feel bigger. He demeans others, letting them feel small just to feel superior. It's a big red flag.
2. Grandiose Sense of Self
Everything is about their grandeur. They exaggerate their achievements and belittle others' talents, all while secretly feeling insecure. Narcissists need to be the center of attention to fuel their fragile egos.
3. Love Bombing
In the beginning stages, a narcissist will lavish on you with affection and attention. They will make you feel you are the most special person on earth. But don't get too comfortable because soon they enter the devaluation stage, pulling back and making you question your worth.
4. Portent
Narcissists very often set the stage for the future manipulation. They may tell you that they "can't stand insecure or jealous people," thus providing them with a perfectly convenient tool to use against you at the first sign of such a feeling from you.
Final Words
Just because your ex was disagreeing with you or demonstrated a few selfish traits does not qualify them as a narcissist. Narcissism cuts much deeper.Spend quality time with a new person and never ignore red flags, no matter how ridiculously attractive they are. Trust your instincts and go slow. It is worthwhile for your peace of mind.
Jamie Date
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3 Things Hot Girls Want From Their Man
Sure, women may not need men like they used to, but let's be clear: that doesn't mean we don't want them.
Dating has evolved, and if you're stuck in the past, you'll risk being outdated—both physically and metaphorically. So, what's changed? Here are three things hot girls are looking for in a man today:
1. A Nurturing Side
Those days of the emotionally unavailable, deadbeat-dad archetype are gone. Women now have careers and full lives; parenting or even just partnering must be a shared effort. We're attracted to men who can display their softer, nurturing side. Want to make our ovaries go crazy? Share stories about how much you loved babysitting your nieces or nephews or how you spoil your pets. Trust me—it's a power move.
2. A Polished Look (Not Just "Looks")
Hot girls are living in the Social Media Age. That means we're fantasizing about those Instagram-worthy couple photos—and we need you looking your best. This isn't about being a supermodel; it's about presenting yourself well. Clean fingernails, styled hair, and, the ultimate flex: smooth, healthy skin. No, your 5-in-1 shampoo isn't skincare. Invest in a proper face wash, toner, moisturizer, and never skip sunscreen—UV rays are your skin's #1 enemy. A little effort here goes a long way.
3. Great Storytelling Skills
Dating is all about connection, and entertainment plays a huge role in keeping it fun. A good storyteller doesn't just captivate their partner; they can light up a room. Women love the idea of a man who commands attention but chooses to spend his time and energy with us. Bonus: storytelling skills often mean a man has a larger social circle and an active, engaging life—a huge plus!
Bottom line: if you want to keep up in today's dating world, embrace these qualities. Show us you're nurturing, polished, and the life of the party—and we'll be happy to make you the leading man in our story.
Jamie Date
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Men: Want More Women Responding to You on Dating Apps? Here’s How.
If you’re tired of getting ghosted or ignored on dating apps, it’s time to step up your game. Here are three proven tips to make women eager to respond to you:
1. Get Creative with Your Openers
A simple “Hey” won’t cut it. Even if she matches with you first, don’t settle for boring. Be creative, even with mundane prompts. The effort you put into your opener can make all the difference.
2. Show, Don’t Tell
If you’ve got a sarcastic sense of humor like me, don’t just say, “I’m sarcastic.” Show it. Craft your messages in a way that lets your personality shine through—this will naturally attract the women who vibe with you.
3. Reel Her Back In
Keep the conversation going by personalizing your messages. Use her name and exaggerate something trivial from her profile to create playful banter. It’s a simple yet effective way to reignite interest and keep things fun.
Want foolproof lines that actually work? I’ve got you covered. My new book, How to Make Online Dating Suck Less: Lessons from a Professional Catfish, is packed with proven strategies to take your online dating game to the next level. It’s dropping on May 28th—preorder now via the link below or check out my Linktree!
Online dating is a valid way to meet amazing women, but you’ve got to work it to make it work. As someone who’s mastered the art of dating apps, I’ll show you exactly how it’s done.
Jamie Date
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2 Huge ways dating apps are ruining dating and how you can use them better.
It all begins with an idea.
Dating apps are a very convenient tool, but in some ways, their design can be against you. I didn't know that many apps employ algorithms that are similar to those of gambling machines. They were created with the intention of holding people back for another try. The cycle is established, where users focus more on the thrill of the chase than on real life when things aren't going right. Before you know it, you'll retreat into the apps again for another round of swiping.
The catch: Over-reliance on dating apps will hamper your in-person flirting and social skills. Yes, updating your profile with new photos, witty bio, and a great messaging strategy can get you lots of matches. However, it's those matches that might not get you beyond the app. That is when Modern Flirting comes in. Our program offers step-by-step guidance on how to build desire and connection during a date, ensuring your efforts don’t just result in a revolving door of first dates.
While online dating is a great way to meet people, one should not burn out about it. To make meaningful connections with women, one needs to understand what women are looking for - both online and offline. The idea is to identify those values and portray the characteristics they care about.
Whether you're frustrated from getting no matches or feeling drained by too many first dates, dating fatigue is real. The solution? Set match limits, learn to work with the algorithms instead of against them, and focus on quality over quantity. Modern Flirting can help you master these strategies and ensure your dating life is as fulfilling as it is exciting.
Jamie Date
Dating Coach for men
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Use This Opener the Next Time She Likes a Photo of You with an Animal
It all begins with an idea.
We all know the game: post a photo with an adorable animal, and women will come running—well, maybe just to "like" the pic. But then they pull the classic online move: they like it and say nothing.
This ends now, my friend. Here's how you take control of the situation:
When she likes your photo, hit her with this:
"The like for me or the dog? …be honest now ?"
And don't forget the emojis-they are crucial in setting the tone.
Whatever her reaction may be, respond with:
OK, fine. I let you pet us both
Boom. You just made her laugh, and now she is interested. If done properly, this simple opener can take you from being some guy with a dog pic to someone she actually wants to talk to.
Want more of those? My Banter Blueprint program has everything you need to totally dominate online dating. I will walk you through my complete approach, with real screenshots of actual conversations where I've been professionally catfishing (yeah, you read that right) perfecting these techniques. You're also going to get my tested texting guide to land more numbers, kick off better conversations, and secure more dates.
Ready to level up? Let's make those "likes" work for you.
Jamie Date
Dating Coach for men
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How to Make Online Dating Suck Less - Part One: Photos
It all begins with an idea.
Let's be real—pictures are everything on dating apps. They make up a whole, well 98%, reason for why women end up swiping right (or left) on your profile. The secret? Your pictures must give off personality and movement. Here's the rundown of how to curate that winning lineup:
1. The Profile Photo
Your first photo should represent what you’d look like on a date—dressy or casual, but polished. Aim for a chest-up shot, not a full-body one. And no selfies. Seriously, ask a friend to snap it for you—selfies rarely perform well.
2. The Candid Laugh
Add a candid photo of you laughing while looking slightly off to the side. If you're showing teeth, even better. Pro tip: If you can't fake a natural laugh, say "ha ha ha ha" quickly out loud, and voilà—your smile will widen effortlessly. Bonus points for whitening those teeth beforehand.
3. Action or Adventure Shot
Show your adventurous side, but keep the focus on you. Instead of standing stiffly in front of a landscape, go for a shot with movement. Hiking? Capture a mid-step moment. Surfing? Snap one holding your board as you head to the beach.
4. The Goofy Photo
Women love a man who lets loose. Include a fun picture from a costume party or festival or something that shows a silly side of you. Just avoid the group shots—no one wants to search for Waldo on dating apps.
5. Awwww Factor
Your softer side. A shot with your dog, cat, or even your grandma just works wonders. Women love seeing the more nurturing, caring side of men.
6. The Wildcard
This one is all about personality. Choose a photo that's a conversation starter—maybe from a unique trip or an interesting hobby. It should reflect something that makes you stand out.
Final Tips
• Use high-quality photos taken within the last couple of years.
• Adjust for lighting with free photo editing apps if needed.
• Put in the effort now, and you'll notice a major boost in the quality of your matches.
The bottom line? Thoughtfully curated photos = better matches = a way more enjoyable time swiping. Now get to it!
Jamie Date
Dating Coach for men
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3 Ways to Trick Your Brain into Being More Self-Compassionate and Resilient
It all begins with an idea.
From Brené Brown, the queen of vulnerability herself, to teach us here how you can train your brain to be kinder to self and build resilience to shame and intrusive thoughts:
Practice Self-Kindness
Be intentional with how you speak to yourself. If your best friend or a loved one was dealing with what you're experiencing, what would you say to help them feel better? That is what you should be saying to yourself. The starting point for becoming your best friend is acting like a friend—no judgments, no put-downs, only kindness towards yourself.Connect with Shared Humanness
You are not alone in your struggles, no matter how much it might feel that way sometimes. The concept of common humanity reminds you that everyone is fighting their own battles. Don't believe it? Think about the last time you had a genuine heart-to-heart with someone. Chances are, they shared experiences or feelings eerily similar to yours. Knowing this can dissolve shame and remind you that imperfection is part of being human.Exercise Mindfulness
Disconnect the notion that your problems characterize you. Mindfulness entails hosting your emotions without getting taken over by them. Think of yourself as being a considerate host that welcomes visitors (your feelings), aware that they're just passing through. You are not your intruding thoughts, nor is it your challenges. The End
You are not your thoughts, and your struggles do not own you. Remind yourself of this fact: you are the prize. Treat yourself like it.
Jamie Date
Dating Coach for men
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